I Love Her, I Love Her Not

I like stuff.

I know, it seems a spacial waste for me to say it that bluntly, but I do. I think this is the root of what a lot of events in my life stem from. I like guitars. I like guitar pedals. I like good albums by my favorite artists. I like my iPod Touch. I REALLY like chocolate.

I also like a lot of intangible things. For instance, I like respect from others for what I do. I like being recognized as a follower of Christ, albeit, not always for the right reasons. I like a feeling of accomplishment after I've cleaned the house from top to bottom and knowing that Chassta will be pleased when she crosses the threshold. But this leads me to another question: What do I love?

Well, I know a few things/people to start with. I love my wife. I love my family. I love my position as a leader in Elishah, and I love the guys that comprise the band. I love meeting new people and sharing with them what God's given me. I most certainly love Jesus Christ....or do I?

I've been mulling over the latter phrase for about a month now. Every now and again, I think it's good to question my allegiance so I can allow the Holy Spirit to speak to me about who I really am, no matter how painful it gets. And I've gotten a haunting response: with the mess that I've allowed in my heart over the years, how could I possibly say with truth that I really love Christ?

I've found the answer, at least for this time in my life. We all have struggles with each other...we all fall short of our expectations for one another....and this inevitably leads to wounding that takes a perfect Savior to heal, but should never have been there in the first place. Which, in turn, leads to the bad fruits the Bible talks of: envy, malice, pride, bitterness, anger, hatred and so on.

I'm in a catch-22 it seems. I was recently talking with my brother over the direction of ministry and writing our band, Elishah, must take to not only continue on, but to do it in a way that lines up exactly with God's will for this journey. We came to the conclusion that each of us in Elishah has a unique relationship with the Church (the American/global church, which trickles down to the community of local churches we attend). None of us is completely satisfied with the way our generation has viewed or "does" church. We typically find several things that do not line up Scripturally or are not redeemed for Kingdom work that are done in church gatherings. We have, in the past, felt disconnected, disillusioned, and many times, rejected by people who were supposed to be on our side. A verse comes to mind: "For we don't wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places." (Eph. 6:12)

Regrettably, I have fallen before into the trap of believing that my enemies were my brothers and sisters in Christ. Not so, not even a little, according to this verse. And my brothers-in-arms in Elishah believe this truth as well. This is where the turn-around takes place. While we are discontent with the state of the Church, we love the Church.

I heard a quote once that has literally screamed in my mind each time I feel a pull to my fleshly desire to fight my brothers. It says, "You can't love Jesus and hate His wife." It's true. The 2 greatest commandments Christ gave us were to love God first and love your neighbor as yourself, and He made them equal commandments. That means loving God comes with a "proof," if you will. That "proof" is to love our neighbors.

So, back to mine and Mike's conversation. We came to terms that we are leaders in worship, and that almost all of our lyrics are comprised of challenges for those who are already believers in Christ. That said, why would we waste our time on people if we didn't love them? We believe Christ has placed a burning desire in our hearts to see the Church come together again and love one another beyond our faults and failures, to work together for the building of the Kingdom of God, and to fulfill the Great Commission. There's really not enough time to dawdle on anything else, I've come to realize.

My challenge this post, then, is to encourage you to stop finding things in others, especially Christians, that you don't like. Because, indubitably, that kind of criticism leads to thoughts of pride ("I don't do that!"), and hate ("I hate them because they..."). Christ is NOT cool with this kind of thinking. In fact, it's the kind of thinking He warned us to "not be conformed to the image of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind."

True, it's a dog-eat-dog world, but there does not have to be a dog-eat-dog Church....lift up those who hurt you in prayer...watch God do a miracle. He may not change them (keep in mind that they DO have free will), but He may change your heart toward them because you've been humble enough to let God work in YOU.

Let's see it happen...you know the truth now...don't waste it by doing nothing.